The Voice: Let the Battles Begin

Sexy stubble beats full-on beard
every time!

Since the blind auditions are over. I was curious to see if The Voice would be able to keep my attention with the next phase – the battle rounds. Each judge had to pick two of his (or her) teammates to go head-to-head against each other singing the same song. After getting some coaching, the judge would decide after the performance, who would make it into the final four and who wouldn’t.

Team Christina
It was ladies' first last night and Christina pitted two of her most formidable talents against each other gospel singer Tarralyn Ramsey and Broadway diva (and former disqualified American Idol contestant) Frenchie Davis. Christina challenged them to perform Beyonce’s Single Ladies. She knew both could belt out a ballad easily and might have more challenge and more fun with an up-tempo number. She was assisted in her coaching by by Australian singer Sia (never heard of her). It was a battle of the divas with both hitting (and missing) the big notes. I thought Tarralyn was a little more screechy and maybe Christina did too because she went with Frenchie.

Team Blake
With Reba McIntyre to back him up, Blake pitted cute ol’ country crooner Patrick Thomas against bespectacled pop singer Tyler Robinson. The song? Elvis’s Hunk of Burning Love. Blake wanted them to feel like a slab of incendiary passion-filled flesh and I’m not sure I brought it from either of them. Ultimately, Blake followed his country sensibilities and went with Patrick.

Team Adam
Adam was the only one to go with a male-female duet. He chose teenager Casey Weston to battle against Tim Mahoney (the one he thought was a woman during the blind auditions). He selected the Don Henley/Stevie Nicks ballad, Leather and Lace for their song. They did the original justice. Although there is a vibrato in Casey’s voice that I didn’t really enjoy, Adam chose her over Tim.

Team Cee-Lo
In the final battle, it was Nicki Dawson vs Vicci Martinez. Their duet of Pink’s Perfect has been in all of the promos for this week’s episode. Both sang well and with passion but Vicci did this sumo wrestler stomp that just took me out of the whole song making me ask, “What in the hell?” Apparently Cee-lo liked it well enough because Vicci beat out Nicki.

Next week: More battles to come!

Celebrity Apprentice: Now That's Some Soggy Meat Loaf!

Man up damn it! My neutered dog
has more cajones!

Three hours of Celebrity Apprentice. Three frickin' hours! Three emotional hours filled with meltdowns and verbal melees. Three ridiculous hours and two tasks: busy, busy, busy!

It all started with some switching of teams. Since Star and Nene simply were not going to get along (when Nene started piping up, I thought we were going to have a repeat of last week’s drama). Meat Loaf moved over to ASAP with Star and Marlee Matlin. Nene went over to Backbone with John Rich, La Toya Jackson and Lil Jon.

The first task was the third fundraising task with both groups asked to put together a comedy show featuring three comedians . They’d have 50 tickets each to raise money. La Toya and Marlee stepped up as project managers.

Nene was beside herself. She felt like Trump was kowtowing to Star by putting them on different teams and, she said, she needed a moment … a really long moment. So she left. She just up and left. She didn’t call her new teammates. She didn’t let them know anything; she just left. So they got busy, calling their tapped out contacts. For a Jackson, La Toya was unimpressive. She couldn’t even get more than a $1,000 from the Hiltons! John Rich pulled in his good friend Jimmy Fallon to perform and he gave a $10,000 donation.

Team ASAP was excited about getting Tracy Morgan to provide a video clip. It turned out to be the lamest, unfunniest video I’ve seen in a long time (and I routinely watch Saturday Night Live so that’s saying something). But the task was about making money which is where Meat Loaf melted down.

If it wasn’t bad enough that he had to pick up a phone and grovel for money, it suddenly occurred to him that if his team lost, he’d end up having to give the money he had raised for his Painted Turtle charity to Marlee’s charity. I swear they must have lost half a day as he boo-hoo’ed about how he didn’t want to gamble away that money. Well, the best way to ensure that didn’t happen was to win which is exactly what Trump told him when he called and asked if he could keep the money regardless of the outcome.

Both shows went well but Jimmy Fallon and his original song Yer Fired, I think, put the guys (and La Toya) over the top. But wait! This is a fundraising challenge and the only really important thing is which team made the most money.

In the boardroom, there were more water works from Meat Loaf. He thought he was going to lose the task and therefore the money for the Turtle kids. In an effort that was just as much about making the tears stop as it was being generous, John Rich offered to match the money Meat Load had raised if ASAP lost. … but they didn’t.

Despite winning and saving the Turtle kids' donations, there were even more water works from Meat Loaf who explained bleary-eyed that Trump and Celebrity Apprentice made him want to be a better man. Nobler words have never been spoken on this show (or probably to Donald Trump). Speaking of ignoble words, Trump had a few for Nene. He called her a quitter and a loser and said Star “kicked your ass.”

After this first task, it came down to La Toya, Jon Rich and Lil Jon. Someone was going home. And just as soon as she came back, La Toya Jackson was out ... again. As she walked to the limo, the sidewalk lit up beneath her, a la Billie Jean. It was a nice touch.

Remember, though, this is the super-sized Celebrity Apprentice so it wasn’t over yet! There was a second task, this one for OnStar to let people know that you can buy an OnStar for your car (even if it isn’t brand spanking new), at Best Buy no less! The teams were tasked with developing a commercial.

This is getting long so I’ll be brief. Meat didn’t cry. Instead he took the lead on the creative. He played a cop obsessed with donuts who helped a hapless Marlee Matlin find her car, while Star provided the voice for OnStar. At the end, all three (Meat, Marlee and Star) sat in a donut shop while a random guy on a skateboard flew by with an OnStar box.

The guys had a simple idea with a few special effects. Lil Jon and two actresses (a housewife and a college student) stood in front of a white backdrop and talked about how having OnStar for their older cars was a life saver.

The executives cringed when ASAP’s commercial made fun of cops. They also cringed when Backbone’s housewife was shown ‘driving’ with no seatbelt!

Anyway, the guys won – meaning the Johns (Rich and Lil) are in the Final Four. In the boardroom, we had one more big blow-out: Meat vs. Star. Meat was all about improv and going without a script. Star wanted a script but wouldn’t push it. Trump sent the three of them out of the boardroom momentarily and that’s when things got ugly.

Star explained that since Meat wasn’t a lawyer, he was not qualified to argue with her. Then she got really upset when he referred to her as ‘Sweetie’. Star started seeing red. Things did not get better in the boardroom where they continued to go after one another. In fact they went all the way to the end until Trump fired Star! I was shocked. I had her pegged for the top two.

her. I’m sure however many people at home lit up at the prospect of a Star-less final four.

American Idol Results: Down to Four

This cat finally ran out of lives!

We started off predictably enough. Ryan plugged Steven's book and J. Lo's upcoming performance. We had a average group number (Happy Together) followed by the weekly Ford commercial (is it me or do they get worse by the week?). There was a cutesy two-part segment with the Idols cooking for Gordon Ramsey.

Ironically, there was a solid performance from Lady Antebellum, Just a Kiss. Why the irony? Because the female lead for Lady Antebellum, Hilary Scott was rejected by American Idol when she auditioned for the show. She didn't even make it in front of the judges, striking out in the preliminary round. Now, she's with a Grammy-winning group performing on Idol!

For the elimination, Ryan started forming two groups. James on the far side of the stage and Lauren on the near side. Jimmy Iovine said, James was usually a nine or a 10. He called last night's performances an eight. He criticized Lauren for wimping out of the big note in Unchained Melody.

But before we continued with results, there was Jennifer Lopez performing On the Floor. She was singing with a track but she showed the Idols what it is like to put on a show ... costume, dancers, set. She was on it. We also got a preview of her new singe, Into You.

Next up more results. Jacob came up for his critique. Jimmy said it seems as if he lost some of his confidence as both of his performances last night were off. Jacob joined Lauren on the close side.

As for Haley, Jimmy said he had her pegged in fourth or fifth place until last night's peformance of House of the Rising Sun which she nailed. He gave her a perfect 10 for that perfomance. She joined James on the far side.

It all came down to Scotty. Jimmy thought his version of Gone was stellar; but that he came up a little short on Always on my Mind. Ryan mentioned that Scotty had never been in the bottom and tonight would be no different. He was safe. Then Ryan asked him to pick the duo he thought was safe.

Scotty didn't want to do it so Ryan walked him over to James and Haley. They were safe and Jacob and Lauren were the Bottom Two. Lauren started the water works right then and there but it would be Jacob that was going home.

In his final remarks, he mentioned how America had fallen in love with him (Huh?) and he looked forward to making some good R&B music. Anyway, he sang A House Is Not a Home and kept it going all the way through the credits.

Alas, there will be no more Lusky Stank!

American Idol: Now and Then

Seems like only yesterday we had 13. Now it's down
to five, soon to be four!

It seems like this season has flown by. Five contestants remain and each sang two songs for Now & Then week. They had to pick a current song and another from the 60s or 70s. For me, Scotty and Lauren pulled out front with James in the middle and Haley and Jacob definitely in the bottom (and one of them probably going home).

So here’s how everything shook out.

James kicked off the night with 30 Seconds To Mars’s, Closer to the Edge. Once again, James was big on showmanship; but sometimes I think I’d like him to focus more on the vocals. Randy and company were psyched, with Randy telling him that the competition was his to lose. For his second song he chose Harry Nilsson’s Without You. He teared up during rehearsal and almost during his performance because the song reminds him of his wife and son. His version was good but I’m not too crazy about the song. Speaking of not too crazy…

Jacob was up next and tackled the duet No Air by Idol winner Jordin Sparks and anger management poster child Chris Brown. I didn’t like the song when those two did it and I didn’t like Jacob’s screechy version of it either. The judges agreed with me. They said they’d hoped his second song would be better. For his back-in-the-day song he went with Nazareth’s Loves Hurts. Vocally he was all over the place but he did manage to make an emotional connection to the song which should count for something (take note Stefano Langone).

Lauren Alaina channeled her inner Carrie Underwood for Flat on the Floor. She did a great job with the Idol winner’s song and it was easy to see that this kind of song is exactly the kind of song she’d sing if she won Idol. She came out with a song her parents love for her old school classic, The Righteous Brothers Unchained Melody (also known as the ceramics song from the movie Ghost). She looked gorgeous in her flowing white dress. I would be surprised if she was sent home. I could see this kid in the top two.

Scotty kept it country (again) for both songs but he did manage to step up his performance game. He delivered an energetic, crowd-pleasing rendition of Gone by Montgomery Gentry. He worked the audience, jumped around the stage and even tried to get the judges involved. For his second number, he chose Elvis’s (and Willie Nelson’s) Always on My Mind. I’ll be honest, I don’t even remember much about this performance and that should tell you something.

Rounding out the top five was Haley Reinhart. For her first song, she took a big chance on an unreleased Lady Gaga song You and I. I guess she did it well, having never heard the song, I have nothing to compare it to. The judges, especially J. Lo, weren’t sure it was a good idea to go with an unknown song at this point. For her second number, she picked a very well known song, House of the Rising Sun by The Animals. I couldn’t help but compare her, not to The Animals but to Siobhan Magnus, who killed this song last year. Haley didn’t slay it.

Bottom Three? How about which two will be safe. For me that’s our country duo: Scotty and Lauren. Jacob, James and Haley, have a seat on one of those uncomfortable-looking stools because one of you will be going home … probably Jacob. Then again what do I know, I've been predicting that Jacob's going home for week's now. The kid has more lives than a new-born kitten!

The Voice: Blind Auditions are Officially Ova!

From the looks of things, next week
Adam will have lots of facial hair! Ugh!
I like him clean shaven or stubbly. Mmm! 

The blind auditions concluded last night on The Voice. The four judges had to have eight members on their team by the time the night was over. After hearing all of the contestants, only one judge, Cee-Lo had a complete team.

So Carson Daly tapped eight former contestants and had them come back to sing. Christina and Blake each had one open slot and Adam had two to fill.

I’m curious now that the auditions are over on what will happen next. With their teams in place, the judges will now have to mentor their contestants, with a little help from some celebrity friends (next week it’s country legend Reba McEntire).

Members of the same team will have to compete against each other and face elimination (from the judge that selected them no less). I have no idea what that will look like, but I am willing to give it a shot. So far, I've really enjoyed the judges interaction and I'm guessing from the sound of things that we won't have that next week.

Here's hoping The Voice can keep up the momentum.

Glee: Rumors Run Amok

Brittany could be the next Oprah!

Hopefully with last week’s episode and last night, Glee is hitting its stride and it will continue through the conclusion of the season.

Having an episode devoted to a single album (am I dating myself by saying album, should I say CD, what do you call them when they’re downloadable???). Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors is a legendary collection (I’ll use that word) but I wonder how many kids born in the 90’s would be familiar with it.

Anyway, last night showed the return of April Rhodes. Apparently her all white version of The Wiz failed miserably and she returned to Lima to work on her one woman show and help Shue with the Fleetwood Mac concept. She did a great version of Dreams to kick things off. Shue challenged her to dig deeper and have the show chronicle her emotional journey. Surprisingly, the show came together well and Shue got a bit of an itch to return with April to the Big Apple to give the play a try.

That was one of the rumors flying around McKinely and Sue was there to fan the flames. As the editor of the school newspaper, she encouraged a young band of potential journalists to ditch the little things like facts, accuracy and truth and focus more on the sexy and the salacious.

Speaking of salacious, Rachel and Finn thought something was up when they got suspicious about Sam. By the looks of things (things gleaned while staking out a motel) Sam was involved with both Kurt and Quinn! However, the truth was more mundane. Sam and his family (including his adorable and equally blond little brother and sister) were living in the motel after Sam’s dad had lost his job and then their home. Both managed to find out Sam’s secret and were coming around to help out.

Feeling bad, Finn and Rachel vowed to help. They brought back the guitar he’d had to sell. He cried. They cried. I cried … don’t laugh. I did. It was touching.

The Brittany/Santana/Artie triangle is no more. Artie is out of the picture. He was nervous about Brittany’s relationship with Santana and slipped and called Brittany the ‘S’ word … stupid. Personally, I can’t see Artie saying that, which is why it seemed weird to me for him to say it. Of course, it drove her back in the arms of Santana, who sang a her a heart-felt version of Songbird. Both girls got misty and it was nice but to be honest I want Brittany and Artie back. I want him to fight for her damn it!

We also learned that Brit-Brit has her own talk show, Fondue for Two. After Santana backed out of her interview on the show, Brittany interviewed her cat, the regal (and very fat) Lord Tubbington. It appears that the two of them are now together (not Brit and Lord Tubbington but Brit and Santana). Brittany wanted to go to prom with Santana who isn’t ready to come out yet. In fact, one of the blind item rumors swirled around her Sapphic tendencies.

It looks as if Finn and Quinn are really, emotionally, back together. Rachel continues to try to get back in Finn’s good graces but it doesn’t seem like it’s going to work. She even sang Go Your Own Way to him. I think she needs to go her own way … in a direction that is opposite from Finn!

It looks like the prom is next week. Kurt and Blaine will go together but will Santana and Brittany? Is Artie completely out of the picture? What’s going to happen next year if all these kids are graduating what will happen next year? What was that I saw in the preview for next week? Was it Jesse St. James? Will he take Rach to the prom? Questions. Questions. Questions!

Celebrity Apprentice: Pipping Hot Mess Edition



"Yeah Star, I said your brain was fat.
I know it didn't make a lick of sense
but I'm in the middle of a rant and you
can't expect me to stop and make sense!"

The way Team ASAP treated LaToya was a mess. Dionne Warwick was a nasty old hot mess. But Nene Leakes? When Nene Leakes took on Star Jones, before the task even began, she was a pipping hot, boiling over, steaming cauldron of ghetto messiness.
The task for this week was for each groups to put on a hair show. Farouk Shami, the executive of the week, was a cute little animated guy with enough fashion chutzpah to wear red boots. He was adorable. But a hair show? Really? The guys were clueless. In fact, Meat Loaf and Lil Jon did Rock, Paper Scissors to figure out who'd be project manager. Lil Jon lost.

For the girls, Nene stepped up ... at Star's suggestion (or insistence). Nene felt that Star was being 'strategic' and trying to get Nene kicked off. And that's where it all started. Right in front of Donald, Ivana, Erik and Farouk, she went the hell off.

She called Star a fat evil lady and even accused her brain of being fat! Huh? She told Star she needed to be ready with her ‘street game.’ The only retort Star could come up with was a weak, "This isn't the Atlanta housewives." Then, Star tried to walk away, Nene followed right on her heels. Even though most of her wrath was reserved for Star, Marlee and Hope didn’t escape unscathed. Nene went after them for not standing up to Star.

I guess what was most shocking about all this ranting and raving was that it seemed to just go on and on forever, and in front of friendly little Farouk. It seemed that Nene was NEVER going to just shut up. In the aftermath, the women had to figure out how to work together with emotions running high and lots of feelings hurt.

But the show ... the hair show ... must go on.

After talking with Farouk, who emphasized that his products are safe and made in America, Lil Jon went with a Living in America theme that would feature hairstyles from regions around the country. Then John Rich had the brilliant idea to call up former Team ASAP member Nikki Taylor and ask her to participate in the show. They called and she agreed!

Meat Loaf must have eaten some bad meat loaf because it seems as if he spent half of the task holed up in the bathroom.

Meanwhile, a blast from the recent past appeared in Donald Trump’s office. It was La Toya Jackson! She blamed her firing on the fact that she had lost her voice and wanted a chance to work with the guys and ‘prove herself’. Donald said he would give her an answer in 24 hours.

Over at Team ASAP, Nene got the girls to channel their inner Willow Smith by whipping their hair back and forth. Why, you ask? Well, the theme Nene came up with was Shake Your Beauty. And Hope would model, although as Hope said, she really wasn’t a model. I can see where she was coming from. She’s a centerfold and a Playmate, not a lot of runway walking in that job description (not much of anything in that job description).

When Nikki Taylor showed up, the girls were not too happy at all … especially Star who was on ‘graphics’ again, or more accurately, on PowerPoint again. She acts like PowerPoint is the most difficult application ever. Having taught Microsoft products, it’s, hands-down, the easiest application to use and master. Once again, Star needs to get over herself.

Both hair shows were okay. Lil Jon got it started for Backbone and kept the energy up. Nene wasn’t so polished but she had some nice dancers to kick things off. The only thing worse than Nene’s MC-ing was Hope’s attempt to walk the runway. It was bizarre. It reminded me of one of those stop-animation cartoons where I stiff puppet comes to life. The body of a goddess. The moves of Pinnocchio. Not a good combination.

It wasn’t hard to figure out that the guys won it again. And then using Jose Conesco’s departure as a reason, he brought La Toya back in as the newest member of Team Backbone. They seemed to welcome her with open arms but we’ll see how things go next week.

And, … just before things started getting good in the boardroom, President Obama gave Donald Trump his comeuppance. He preempted the end of Celebrity Apprentice to give us the very good news that we’d finally taken out Osama Bin Laden. Yes, Obama trumped Trump.

I did find out however, that Nene lived to rant and rail another week, while Hope and her little bunny ears took the long drive to nowhere in the cab.