What I've Really Been Watching

I started the summer with the best of intentions, really I did. I laid out for you, faithful blog reader, what my summer television watching would entail ... but it hasn't quite worked out that way. So what have I been watching? In two words: Breaking Bad.

It's a show I've always wanted to watch and to prepare for the fifth season (which starts on July 15), every night AMC has been playing between one and four episodes, from the pilot through the Season Four finale. I'm done and I'm finally coming up for air!

He was the sweet, lovable, roller-skating
dad on Malcolm in the Middle.

Now he's the meth-cooking, bad-ass,
killing machine on Breaking Bad.

Breaking Bad is so intense it's ridiculous. I think it's a testament to the show that I could literally watch show after show and not get bored. Not only did I never get bored, I always looked forward to my next Break Bad mini-marathon. It's hard to believe that Bryan Cranston, once the goofy, adorable, disco-skating dad on Malcolm in the Middle is now a meth-making, bomb-carrying killer on Breaking Bad. Absolutely fascinating!

Other than BB, the love affair with Gordon Ramsey continues and I have watched Hell's Kitchen and MasterChef. I'm also looking forward to Hotel Hell. What can I say, I just love his shows!

I am not loving The Glee Project. I watched the first two episodes and it's safe to say, I'm over it. I didn't connect with any of the kids and I quickly tired of it. So far, I haven't been able to get into So You Think You Can Dance. Now that the final 20 have been selected, I'll give it another shot.

What probably won't get another shot is Dallas. I watched the two hour opining and it was okay, I just didn't see myself watching it again. Ever.

Frankly, in my Breaking Bad Haze, I've completely forgotten about Rizzoli & Isles and Franklin and Bash. Oops! My bad! I might try to catch up with those two.

In the meantime, I'll be counting down the days to the Season Five premiere of Breaking Bad on Sunday, July 15th!

Movie Review: Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection

Finally! Tyler Perry gives us a straight Madea comedy without the awkward dramatic subplots.Now, if we could only get him to stop putting his name in front of every movie title.

When the movie begins George Needleman (Eugene Levy) leans from the CEO of his company (Tom Arnold) that the division he's been the Chief Financial Officer of for the past five years is the center of a huge Ponzi scheme and he was hired basically because he wouldn't be able to figure it out and to take the fall when the crap hits the fan.

Madea's nephew Brian (Tyler Perry) is on the case and needs to put Needleman in his family into witness protection. Since the mob has infiltrated several of their wtiness protection programs, they need to send the family somewhere else until Needleman can testify at the trial. Brian has the perfect place, his aunt Madea's.

Unforuately, neighborhood kid Jake who's been on the straight and narrow is involved in the scheme too. It seems that his pastor dad (John Amos) put him in charge of the church's mortgage fund and he invested the money in Needleman's company, which means the money is now gone.

When the Needleman's arrive with wife Kate (Denise Richards), bratty teen daughter Cindy (Danielle Campbell), neglected son Howie (Devan Leos) and grandma Barbara (Doris Roberts), you know that it's only a matter of time before Madea sets those kids straight and teaches a lesson or two and she helps them get back the money.

This is one of the funniest Madea movies I've seen. I appreciated the lighter touch without the heavy-handed preachiness that bogs down most of Perry's Madea movies. Eugene Levy is hilarious on his own and to add him to a Madea movie was an excellent idea. The crowd laughed loudly throughout the film and everyone had a good time.

Most critics will pan it as they do most of Perry's movies. However, I really enjoyed it. Unlike most critics, I can take a silly comedy for what it is and not be disappointed when a silly comedy isn't an Oscar-worthy endeavor. If you were considering seeing this movie, see it. I do not think you'll be disappointed.

Movie Review: Magic Mike

If there ever was a Girls Night Out movie, Magic Mike is it. When I saw it with a group of friends and co-workers Friday night, it was obvious that everyone else in that movie theater had the same idea. A movie about male strippers promised lots of candy without all the sweaty oiliness that comes with the real thing.

The story is simple, Mike (Channing Tatum) works several jobs in hopes of saving up enough to start his custom furniture business. One day on his construction job, he meets The Kid (Alex Pettyfer) and introduces him to the world of male exotic dancing. On Mike's crew are club owner Dallas (Matthew McConaughey) and the guys: Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello), Ken (Matt Bomer), Tito (Adam Rodriguez) and Tarzan (Kevin Nash). Yet, Mike is 30-years old and wonders how much longer he can live this life - something The Kid's overprotective (and annoying) older sister Brooke (Cody Horn) constantly reminds him.

When the focus is on the dancing, Magic Mike is magic. Frankly, I was never much of a Channing Tatum fan ... until now. Not only does he have some movies but he actually got to do some acting here and he was actually okay. However, between dance numbers, the movie got a little heavy at times. There was a point where The Kid takes a very unexpected turn that came out of nowhere. I see why they needed something like it to further the plot but the way it was executed left a lot of questions since it seemed to come out of left field.

Of the two women in Mike's life, The Kid's sister Brooke and Mike's hook-up friend Joanna (Olivia Munn), Munn had the better role. Her character, her character arc and her acting were far superior to Cody Horn who seemed to just pout and be annoyed through the entire film. She, for me, was the weakest link in the movie.

As I watched the credits, I noticed this was directed by Steven Soderbergh. I wish he had gone more of the Ocean's 11 route and made it more fun without the serious side. The women in the audience wanted a fun and frivilous Girls Night Out, when Soderbergh gave that to us, the movie succeeded wildly. When he tried to go all dramatic, the results were uneven and disappoiniting.

Movie Review: Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages was a lot of fun. If you enjoy the rock of the 80’s then you’ll probably enjoy it too. However, if you are looking for great acting, a wonderful script or anything else, you will be sorely disappointed.

An adaptation of the hit musical, Rock of Ages follows Sherrie (Julieanne Hough) from her home in safe Oklahoma with her sweet grandma to the mean streets of Los Angeles. The streets are so mean that moments after getting off the Greyhound, she is mugged and her one suitcase is stolen. The suitcase with all of her albums! Of course, coming to her aide is the adorable Drew (Diego Boneta - the South American Justin Bieber). He’s a bartender and wannabe singer at The Bourbon Club … the mecca for all things rock-n-roll. As fate would have it, a waitress has just quit. So a half-hour after getting off the bus, Sherrie has a job and a hot guy … no albums, but hey, you can’t have everything.

Dennis Dupress (Alec Baldwin) is the club’s owner. He’s banking on the night’s big act, Staccee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) and his sleezy manager Paul Gill (Paul Giamatti), to rescue the club. But hoping to close the club down is the mayor’s wife Patricia Whitmore (Catherine Zeta-Jones). She is a born-again Christian and a hardcore opponent of hard rock.

Julieanne and Diego are game but the poor kids just don’t have the acting chops. The by-the-numbers script didn’t help much either. The dialogue was functional. It’s purpose was to get from song to song. Fortunately, there were lots of songs. Even though, as singers, Hough, Boneta and Cruise gave it their all but vocally they were still a little light. I was actually scared for Julieanne when she had to sing with Mary J Blige!

Having said all of that, Rock of Ages realizes that it isn’t an Academy Award-winning event. It is fun and it doesn’t take itself too seriously. I love all 80’s music and so does the friend I saw it with. We sang along with all of the songs and had a good time. If you, like we did, know all the words to Rock You Like a Hurricane, Wanted Dead or Alive and Sister Christian then you might like this too. If you don’t like 80’s rock and hair metal or if you are swinging on the other side of the pendulum (a rock-n-roll purist who wouldn’t appreciate the musical-esque interpretation of the songs), then take a pass.

Movie Review: Prometheus

I know this isn't the movie poster,
but I just wanted to squeeze in a
pic of Idris Elba! Mmmm, good!

If you ever wondered (and I never did) where those weird-looking extra terrestrials in the Aliens series came from, you’ll get your answer in Prometheus, the prologue to the series. After two decades and a boatload of other movies ranging from Thelma and Louise to Gladiator to American Gangster, director Ridley Scott returns to the genre that he helped define: science fiction. The auteur who gave us Alien and Blade Runner returns to give us the prequel to Alien, Prometheus.

The film begins right here on planet Earth where a pair of scientist/lovers (Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw and Logan Marshall-Green as Charlie Holloway) have uncovered a series of ancient cave drawings from a variety of disparate civilizations that all point towards the same visitors from outer space. They convince Peter Weyland of the Weyland Corporatation (played by an almost unrecognizable Guy Pearce), to fund a trip to the planet they believe started our civilization. Led by icy and robot-like Meredith Vickers and her android counterpart David (Michael Fassbender) with a shuttle driven by Janek (Idris Elba – my reason for seeing the film. LOL!) his crew and a few scientists, they hope to learn about humanity's true origins.

 I don’t want to say too much more for fear of giving something away, so I’ll get on with the review. Ridley Scott has made a visually-compelling film. I would definitely see it at a theatre. I didn’t see the 3-D version and almost wish I had. I'm sure it would have looked amazing.

As a prequel, it also explains the origins of the alien we came to know, and not love, in 1979’s Alien. The film also grapple’s with one of life’s largest questions, like, “Why are we here?” and “Where did we come from?” The answers it poses are provocative at best and sacrilegious at worse (at least to those who believe in God or Darwin for that matter.

 However, what was missing for me was connection. I didn’t feel connected to any of the characters. I wish they had spent more time on character development because I never really felt invested in this heroine, this pair of lovers or this crew. So as the body count rose, my concern or interest in their fates didn’t rise along with it.

 It’s taken me a couple of days to write this because I wasn’t sure how to rate it. I’m going to give it a lukewarm Liked It mainly for the visuals and special effects.

Summer TV Picks: Weekend Edition

Friday

Incredibly, there really isn’t anything piquing my interest on Friday night. So, call me crazy, but maybe, this is a sign that I need to do something crazy like get out of the house, take a night away from the B.A.T (which is what I call my 55” TV – the Big Ass Television) and have a life. You know do things, like go out to dinner, check out a few new spots, or something.

Saturday

I’ll be back home, in front of the bat, with my eyes fixed on Investigation Discovery watching Wicked Attraction at 9:00 (a repeat) and a new episode at 10:00 p.m. For those of you who aren’t ID Addicts, Wicked Attraction is a show that features couples (sometimes siblings or friends) who get together and commit terrible crimes they might not have committed if they hadn’t met the other person.

Sunday

It’s a repeat of Friday night! Only I’ll prpbably end up watching things that I’ve DVRed. Given the relatively slim summer pickings, I might try to catch up on a show I've missed like Revenge or actually make another attempt to read a book, or play with my dog or do any number of things I say I'm going to spend more time doing.

Summer TV Picks: Thursday

Thursdays my TV watching doesn’t start until 9:00 because I have salsa class (yes, I said salsa) and by the time I get home and settled in, it’s around 9:00.

Let’s start by telling you guys what I won’t be watching … cheesy dating shows on FOX. They have been promoting the hell out of Take Me Out and The Choice and neither one has even remotely piqued my interest. According to the shows descriptions, Take Me Out is about “Thirty women look for a summer fling.” The Choice is described as “Celebrities looking for love include reality-TV star Paul ``Pauly D'' Del Vecchio, musician Romeo, athlete Jeremy Bloom and actor Jason Cook.” Dating reality shows have never been my thing and neither of these flimsy shows will change that.

Music reality shows, however, are my thing. So, I should be watching the second hour of Duets; but, I don’t like coming into a show in the middle. Most likely, I’ll catch Duets over the weekend (I’m loving Time Warner’s Look Back feature!).

So what will I be watching. I’ll be watching my new favorite network, Identification Discovery or as I like to call it, “All Crime, All of the Time.” The season premiere of Behind Mansion Walls is at 9:00. Basically, this show is about really rich people who commit crimes. The late Dominick Dunne did it better on Power, Privilege and Justice on TruTV (but back when it was the far superior CourtTV) and the campy Behind Mansion Walls host makes me miss him all the more. Despite Mason, I still like the show.

I’ll stay on ID at 10:00 for a new show called Blood Relatives. This one is about family members who turn on their own. I am a definite ID addict. I’ve spent weekends on this channel! In fact, whenever, I’m looking for something to watch, I usually end up here. I can’t help it, the criminal mind is fascinating and truth is definitely stranger than fiction!