Monday, March 28, 2011

Celebrity Apprentice: Ding! Dong! The Witch is Gone!

Do you know the way to the Boardroom? Ha! I'll say a
little prayer for Dionne Warwick. Lawd knows she needs one!
As Team ASAP returned from the board room minus Nikki Taylor, the girls were not happy campers, having lost the RV challenge to a team lead by Gary Busey. They huddled together to lick their wounds after two loses in a row.
There wasn’t much time to sulk, though because there was another task on deck. This time, they’d be making a 30 second commercial for ACN (a multi-level marketing company) and their new videophone. Without hesitation, Nene (who has to be well over six feet tall) stepped up for ASAP and based on his experience directing videos and marketing himself, Lil Jon (who really is very little) stepped up for Backbone.

The girls were off to a good start with a suggestion from Dionne Warwick. She suggested they have her on one phone singing in a studio while working with an engineer in another city on a recording. The girls loved the idea.

The guys were the first group to work with the ACN rep. The ACN guy kept emphasizing emotion and connecting face-to-face with family and friends. Then, completely out of left field, Jose Conseco asks about communicating with others … beyond this planet. Huh? He elaborated by saying, "Communicating with aliens in a very positive, very personal, very funny way." Of course! It all makes sense now!

Luckily for their sake, the guys kept brainstorming. Lil Jon wanted something hip and envelope-pushing and the concept they came up with was just that. They’d have a guy talking to his parents and introducing his fiance … another guy! And not just any guy but Jose!

After meeting with the ACN rep, the ladies of ASAP decided they needed something with more emotion. They decided to go with a young girl who had gone to Paris for an exchange program who called home. Not only did she get to see her parents but she got to sign with her deaf mother (Marlee Maitlin).

Nene had her work cut out for her when assigning tasks. LaToya explained that due to her recent Lasik surgery she could barely see. Nene set her up as the time keeper. So for the rest of the episode, she periodically shouted times and told people it was time to go … not exactly a critical task.

Hope opted out of creating a PowerPoint presentation, opting instead to shop for set pieces. The only people who really worked hard for Nene were Star and Marlee.

Back on Backbone, Richard was contributing by assisting with Jose’s wardrobe. He was the gay ‘technical advisor.’ But we can’t go through a recap without at least one quizzical/disturbing/confusing Gary Busy moment.

Busey was cast as the father who setup the video phone to talk to his son. His wardrobe was simple, a robe. And what was under the robe? Absolutely nothing. Busey was going commando and the actress playing his wife got more than a peek when his robe opened up. He leaned over and asked her, if she got a look at “Big Wednesday.” Apparently, that’s what Busey’s fiancee calls his ‘apparatus’. I don’t know if that actress had nightmares about that whole scene but I did.

Meanwhile, the women waited for Dionne and Hope to return with the set pieces while LaToya walked around and told the time. These two weren’t the fastest horses out of the gate. Think about it? We have Hope, who just last week didn’t know what century we are in, and Dionne “Molasses Ass” Warwick out together. Did anyone expect speedy and quick from these two?

When they did get back, Dionne snapped into beyotch mode (is she ever really OUT of beyotch mode?) when others tried to help her set up her area. Finally, they made it through taping and then were off to editing. Well, almost all of them were off to editing. While Nene and Marlee did most of the work, the others on the team stayed in the editing bay as well to show their support, except for Ms. Dionne, who went home and went to sleep. I wish Nene would have called her on it. However, her absence was noted by Donald Jr.

When it was time to make the presentations, we had two very different commercials to choose from. Watch both here. I enjoyed both presentations and both commercials. The boardroom was going to be interesting.

I knew it was going to be close but I didn’t expect Nene to break out with the waterworks. She was so emotional, she broke down and cried. She really wanted to win and take some money to her charity, Twisted Hearts which helps abused women. Unfortunately, she didn’t win. And the ladies of ASAP were handed their third loss in a row.

Nene didn’t have to bring two women back into the boardroom, they all stayed. While her team members applauded her management style, Nene got taken to task for letting Dionne Warwick leave during editing. Dionne said she asked permission, Nene said she just up and left. When I reviewed the tape, it looks like she up and left and Nene didn’t stop her (but that could be editing).

Anyway, it came down to Dionne and LaToya and Dionne feeling victimized, offered to leave. She said she’d go. By the time she started to stand up and fight for herself, it was too late she was fired. I stood up and cheered. I’ve never been so happy to see someone get canned on this show. I’ve been disappointed. I’m been shocked. I’ve been surprised. Last night I was giddy. I actually jumped up and cheered. Good riddance!

According to previews for next week, we get to see what was termed as a “Meat Loaf Meltdown”! How much do you want to bet that he threatens to whip Busey like a side of mashed potatoes???

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